No Rooz

Spring again!!!  Time to dance and sing and love!  It's so wonderful and completely apt that Iranians celebrate the new year in Spring just as all is born again.  It starts at the exact moment of the Spring Equinox, whenever in the day that occurs.  One year we celebrated the moment of the new year at 4 AM!  That was the year we went to Abadan to celebrate.  My ex, my mother-in-law (God rest her soul), my darling Laila, and my two sons, Bijan and Jahangir. 

The Azaleas in Abadan were lovely papery masses of fushia, tree sized because of the humidity and warm weather there.  The mosquitos were huge as well, that reminded me of Houston.  Actually Abadan, and Khuszestan in general, has striking similarities to Texas, if only in my opinion.  There's the oil of course, both are oil-rich.  There's the mosquitos, robust and large!  Then there are the people, larger than life, or at least that's what they want you to think.  Both Texans, and Abadanis are famous for thier powers of exaggeration.  Everything is bigger, better, purer and simply sublime in an Abadani or Texas world viewpoint, especially if you are talking about their hometown, their family, or their ability to fight, fish, or hunt.

I digress, sorry, there's so much beauty and humor and silliness in the world, I need hours on end to tell you about it, but I'm forced into a prison of minutes!

That year we spent Eid-e-no rooz in Abadan was the year Laila was 17, Jahangir was 11 and Bijan was 9. We'd arranged to travel with the family of the man who owned the shop just down the street from my ex's restaurant.  They had teenage daughters, so Laila was happy spending time with them. After a long drive we arrived at our hotel in Abadan.  It had recently been remodeled and was shiny and new, with one exception.  They had deliberately neglected to cover the bullet holes in the hallway.  The bullet holes had been left there as a reminder of the Iran-Iraq war and how Iran had been able to hold back the Iraqis.  We had a lovely hotel and after checking in and doing some sightseeing, we came back and went to bed early.  My mother-in-law and I woke everyone at 3:30 AM.  Somehow, we showered, put on our new clothes and made our way to the lobby, where a beautiful new year's display had been set up.Not many of the guests were there, including the group we traveled with.  We hugged and kissed each other, exclaiming "Happy New Year!", my-ex gave out the traditional gifts of money to the kids, and then we all went back up to the rooms and back to bed. 

 Bijan had seen a toy car in the hotel gift shop and talked about it non-stop until my mother-in-law couldn't take it any more and took him downstairs to buy it.  (Such is the tenacity of Asperger's syndrome)  His sparkling brown eyes and curly brown hair made him look like a cherub, and everywhere we went people were irresistably drawn to him.  They were always pinching his cheeks and rubbing his belly and if he protested, it made him that much cuter.  (I've often wondered what would happen if all autistics had a huge Iranian family to poke, pinch, prod and kiss them to death.  It would be socialization by sensory overload. Bijan is much better at social than the average American Asperger's child) 

Later, at lunch in a local kababi, (that's kabab restaurant to the uninitiated), she asked Jahangir what she could give him for Eide.  He was sitting there in his brand-new new year's clothes. (Everyone is required to have a new set of clothes for eide.  New clothes to start a new year.)  His hair was slicked back to one side.  His large, beautiful hands were resting on the table.  He blushed, and said, "Hair gel."  My mother-in-law didn't laugh often, but when she did, it was the most magical sound in the world.  Anyone who ever heard her laugh was bound and determined to hear it again and so would go to great lengths to make her laugh.  She laughed now, and asked him again, "What?  Hair gel"  We all teased him good-naturedly about looking good and girls, then the two of them headed off towards the bazaar to buy hair gel.

This was the first Eide ever that my mother-in-law had not stayed home to oversee the endless cooking and recieving of guests that Eide-e-No Rooz entails.  It was a status symbol to be able to travel to a vacation spot for the new year's holiday.  She now had the money and the time to travel and she could tell her family and neighbors that her son had taken her to a nice hotel for Eide.  The truth was that after the first two days, she missed everyone, and was lonely and bored. The family we had traveled with was modern and not traditional enough for her. She pestered my ex until he agreed that we would not stay the five days we'd  intended but go home. So we said goodbye to our traveling companions and set off for home, a 16 or 17 hour drive away.  We went home in a round-about way through the mountains at night.  When my ex got it in his mind to go somewhere, he would buy a bag of sunflower seeds and drive until he got there.  All night long the car wove through the mountains, on narrow, harrowing roads.  Sometimes we'd see foxes on the sides, thier trotting gait interupted rudely by the glare of our headlights.  If we'd been able to see, we probably would've been all scared stiff by the sheer drop-offs on the side of the road with just flimsy aluminum barriers to warn us away.  I'd read somewhere once that if the person sitting in the passenger side stays awake, it helps the driver to stay awake.  However once I get into a car to go any distance, if I am a passenger, I am instantly drowsy.  I felt guilty about sleeping in the passenger seat, and my mother-in-law who was fearfully wide awake almost the whole time, refused to sit in the front seat, preferring instead the safety of the back seat.  So we drove through the endless night, the sound and nauseating smell of the constantly cracking sunflower seeds filling the car. I would awake periodically to ask my ex if he was ok and if he wanted me to drive. He never let me drive if he was in the car.  I don't know if he was afraid of my driving or afraid to let go of his control, but the result was the same, I never drove.

Finally, we arrived home to tell our stories, to hear the latest gossip from visiting family and to start the shiny new year together, as best we could.