Well after forever and a day, here I am back for more. Those life lessons just keep coming. Just as soon as I think I have some handle on life, here I go again, off on another adventure. The last four years have been a hard lesson in relationships. I still don't seem to be doing too well in that arena.

I read somewhere about life being a laboratory, a testing ground for the soul.  If that's the case I'd like to apply for a sterile lab, so I can test out theories before I need to use them in life.  It seems that sometimes I am the lab rat in someone else's experiment, other times to my great chagrin, I end up using others for my own growing.

I could say in theory that I would rather slit my wrists than hurt another person, with so much conviction that I marvel at my own sincerity.  Then comes a real-life situation and I find myself doing or saying things that are not congruent with my own philosophy at all.  I am improving with age, but not nearly fast enough to keep the ones I love and care so much for safe.